I ended phase I of the HMR plan and lost 30 lbs ending at 216 lbs for the program. I started the year at 260 and currently weigh in at 212. And that is where the rub comes in. I have been stuck and idle in my weight loss for the last 90 days. Got to 209 at one point. My hope was to be at 170 by this time and so I am disappointed.
Disappointed....funny because I have had a successful bout the last six months. To have dropped nearly 50 lbs in 6 months is no laughing matter much less a disappointing one. I have not let off on the exercise either. I led and taught a couch to 5k class and ran a 5k on the 4th of July. The one Y member that stayed with the class had never run a 5k and we did it in 35 minutes, no breaks. It was an awesome feat!
And yet I am disappointed that I have not lost more weight. With all the exercise I am doing and all the physical accomplishments I am reaching. I am riding faster and longer distances at elevated speeds. Hills are less of an issue for me. I am lifting more and dancing (ZUMBA) better. Admittedly I am not eating as well as I was. Incorporating outside food and weaning off the prescribed food is difficult as far as discipline goes. But good news is that I am craving fruits and veggies like never before and, up until last Friday, have not had a hamburger since the start of the year. And it was a glorious burger from the Crow Bar in Corona Del Mar...but I digress.
Exciting news! I taught my first spin class this past Monday and I stacked the class with friends so it was totally full whereas it is usually only 3-4 members. Having taken up cycling and improving in my abilities on the bike, I have come to enjoy spinning as well. So much so that I am going to be seeking certification as a Spinning Instructor. I mentioned this to our program director at the Y and then was asked to sub for a teacher on vacation. That's the catch in volunteering with a non profit, as soon as you say what you are interested in, BOOM! There you are. But I had been researching how to plan a class and what to do for quite some time. I thought I would be a bit different than the other instructors in that I would incorporate more Classical music and less hip hop. I would also invite the class to be somewhat introspective on their journey in that hour.I have found myself to get quite introspective in the midst of a ride or run, forgetting all but the task at hand. By the end I find myself much more relaxed and exuberant by the accomplishment of the hour. This is called endorphin release. I call it a happy high.
So as I was leading Spinning I noticed something very very foreign to me. Everything I did, the class did. If I dropped my right arm, they did also. I stood, they stood...they even did what I told them to. THAT is weird to experience. Then I realized, the members here and the members in my running class are there to be guided to a healthier version of themselves and are trusting me to get them there for at least that hour. In that hour I am part of a grander plan that they are implementing in their lives. This is quite humbling...and inspiring.
At the same time, I am there to draw from them because I am in need of the workout. I mean, come on! A fat spin instructor? Really? And draw I did. I left so energized, so jazzed at the fruition of what I had been planning and dreaming about. I did it! I actually tried something almost entirely foreign to me, with no formal training and did a good job. If I may be so bold as to say so. I mean I led a work out that I would have been happy to participate in.
It hit me today as I was looking foolish in Zumba class that I am a fitness instructor. I am a fitness instructor. I.......AM............A...........FITNESS...........INSTRUCTOR. That is weird. I never would have guessed a year ago that I would be here now. What a difference a year can make. Holy cow.
I have always said that there is NOTHING I can't do. I may not be the best but I will try it. I have trained horses, ridden bulls, attempted a 100 mile bike ride, ran a half marathon, ran a 5k, lost weight. I can do anything I want and I will.
Life is an adventure, a big one at that. There is so much to try and do. I believe that many won't try something unless they can be the best at it or at least on par with how the pros may do it. In living that way, those people will miss out on so much. I am not satisfied in sitting in the stands and watching the game be played. I want to participate in life and try all I can. Right now it is all about the physical. I want to participate in a triathlon, I want to ride 100 miles, I want to teach others to do the same and join me for the ride.
I have met so many people and created relationships in the journey of this last 6 months that I will remember always and cherish always. Relationships that have inspired me and moved me. Some have moved me to tears. The interaction with them has taught me so much about myself and led me to discover so much wisdom that I would not otherwise had learned. I am proud.
It's okay to be proud, just not prideful. But then I suppose there is an element of pride-fullness bordering on boasting in writing this blog. Or any blog for that matter. Okay fine. But believe this blog is more for me than for you. It is a good outlet to write out what comes into my heart, into my soul. I guess I could just journal it and keep it to myself. But I have a drive in me to inspire others to push themselves. I don't know why, I just do.
I am going to work on a Hall of Fame post. I think I will gather the pictures of all the people in my life currently and in the past that have inspired me to more and honor them. That will take some effort.
So there you have my ramblings. I hope it was not a waste of your time. Thanks for reading!
