Citizen Torresluna

On June 18 I became a Citizen of the United States of America. I and 2,812 other legal residents joined together and in unison recited the Oath of Citizenship. It was an amazing experience that I will remember for the rest of my life. Not as significant as seeing my bride in her wedding gown for the first time or the moment I met each of my children as they entered the world, but it ranks right there in significance and meaning.

I have lived in this country since the age of 3. Long story short, there was a series of paperwork errors and when I turned 18 I had to get Permanent Legal Residence, also known as a green card. 21 years later I finally became a citizen. From start to finish it was a 6 month process, and not very difficult.

On the day of the ceremony my heart filled with emotion. The patriotic tunes of John Phillip Sousa filled the hall and peppered the voices of officers giving direction, men women and children bustling about. A large, no, GINORMOUS Flag hung prominently and proudly at the front of the hall. Those colors never seemed so bright! I looked around and saw a myriad of cultures represented. As I walked the convention halls all I could hear was Neil Diamond's America. Truly from all over the world in that hall we were coming to America, seeking the American dream, each in our own way with our picture of what that looks like.

So many friends were surprised that I was not a citizen for I had lived as though I was the quintessential American icon. I worked as a Cowboy, love country music, drive a big American Made - non TARP - Ford Pick up truck, and love Jesus, baseball and apple pie!  I have created a beautiful life and all on the good graces of the American public. 

Opportunity, freedom to fail and succeed and fail and succeed again. These are the characteristics of the uniquely American society. The great experiment of the World. And now I can call it mine. You see though I am very proud of the Mexican heritage from which I come, it is not my culture, not my country. I grew up here and have therefore adopted the culture of America. If I were to go to live in Mexico now I would not fit in, I have a different world view then my Mexican brothers but that does not make me less Mexican. It's a beautiful country albeit benighted.

The American Trinity, E Pluribis Unum, In God We Trust, and Liberty. This would be the framework of my life. I am so thankful that my parents immigrated to this country and fought to give me an opportunity to create a life in the freest nation on this planet.

In taking the oath I heard a cacophony of accents in unison reciting the Oath of Citizenship, Pledge of Allegiance, and National Anthem. It was the most beautiful sound. Like the first time I heard my children cry as they entered this world. All of us being born in that moment into a new life. I life with deep responsibility to protect the founding principles of this country and to pass on the value of American Citizenship to the next generation.

It was interesting though, some of the comments made to me by friends and acquaintences. Some serious, others meant in jest but foolish. One such foolish comment, "now you will be paying taxes and your fair share!" Well, as a legal resident who has been working since I was ten, I have been paying taxes not just through payroll but in all I buy and consume. Another asked if I felt "whiter". As though American citizenship is uniquely "white" or has anything to do with skin tone. 

Did I feel different afterward? Was there some magical transformation that occurred in the moment the court was adjourned? No. Not really, I was hoping so and in that sense it was rather anticlimactic. The moment was to come several weeks later as I sat in Dodger Stadium and sang the National Anthem. That is my anthem now....MY anthem. MY Country. MINE. A wanderer no longer wandering. A nation-less man now with a nation and identity. In that moment the tune was sweeter, the colors brighter, even the grass of the outfield was greener. I am guessing the first time I step in to a voting booth will be quite moving as well.

I am proud that my family was there to witness this. I don't know that my kids can yet appreciate the significance of that day. They have always been US Citizens! But as they grow older I am certain they will understand the meaning of the privilege to be a part of this country.

As for the crisis on the border. I believe it is largely political theater and manufactured. I do believe the Law must be enforced and folks have to enter the country in the proper fashion. That being said, if I was starving and my kids too, all the while the pot of gold was just a few hundred miles away, I would jump any fence, swim any river, cross any desert for a better life. As a Christian, I try to stay apolitical and be sure to extend grace and mercy. That is our first responsibility. While the government officials sort out the mess, these children that have been sent by their parents need to be cared for, regardless of the motive for their presence here. If they get sent back then I pray they be cared for and find a way to come back the way they are supposed to.

I worked for my citizenship. I have worked since I was old enough to hold a shovel and scoop horse dung. My parents have worked and paid their taxes, the taxes that paid for the schools I attended and security of living in a free nation. I therefore appreciate what I have. I don't know if I would hold the same level of appreciation if it was given to me.

As in anything if you work for it, you appreciate it more. You care for it more. And I will care for this country and do not take my responsibility as a citizen lightly. Do I feel whiter? No...I feel RED-WHITE and BLUER!!

A WORD ON THE SUIT

Because part of the purpose of this blog is to offer commentary on proper men's attire I must make a few comments on the ensemble for the day. 

I could not have gone through this day in anything other than a blue suit. The tie is Donald Trump Collection deep red, paisley embossed silk tie. My Cufflinks are a meaningful gift from my Dad. Ronald Reagan Presidential Cufflinks, with his signature engraved on the back. He, along with John Wayne, Frank Sinatra and the American Cowboy have been life long heroic icons for me.

So I chose items for the day that carried some symbolism and meaning....yes even Donald Trump, because there is really no denying his status as an American Icon. Truthfully though it was the only red tie I had that worked.

It Doesn't Have To Cost You

Putting yourself together for a semi formal or formal event such as a summertime cocktail party does not have to break the bank. Style and class are not only for the deep pocketed. I am not a man of independent means. I am a huge fan of the clearance rack at JC Penney and Macy's. Recently I purchased three suits from Hollywood suits and am quite pleased with the quality. It was one of those 3 Suit deals for $499 and it came with three belts, shirts, ties, and socks. Is it Armani? No. $250 Dress shirts with soft egyptian cotton? No. Salvatore Ferragamo tie? No. But who cares? If the fit is tailored for your body and the style is classy, no one is going to come and inspect the labels on your clothing.

On a recent business trip I arrived at my hotel and began to prepare my suit for the next day's meetings. It was then that I realized I had not packed my cufflinks. I drove the local mall and wandered in to Neiman Marcus. I had never been in one and did not know that this was a very expensive place to shop. After gasping at the $200 simplistic Cuff links I decided it would be much easier to get a new shirt with button cuffs. I then realized it was not much better. $650 shirts!!! So chalantly wandered my way out to the mall and into a Dillards. This was my kind of place. For $100 I walked out with Johnston & Murphy dress shoes, a shirt, and a set of decent cufflinks. No one at the meeting knew none the better.

For a summer cocktail party I recently attended I wore a light colored three piece suit, basic white dress shirt, and the shoes I purchased on my trip to the aforementioned Dillard's. The Bow Tie is a gift and it provided the right amount of color to an otherwise monochromatic ensemble. (I NEVER wear a clip on Bow Tie)

A suit is not a suit if it does not have a pocket square. As a rule I don't match the pocket square with the tie, even though this particular tie came with a matching square. I often choose a square that would compliment the tie; but, I do like choosing a completely contrasting silk from time to time. As long as it is not too ostentatious, you should be fine. There are many styles for placing the pocket square in your coat. For this occasion I felt a simple puff would suffice.

Often, wearing a belt creates a cinched contour that is unflattering and causes the suit to not drape properly, so I opted for braces, also known as suspenders. A nice touch that no one saw but nonetheless provided function and comfort. 

Since this was to be an outdoor party I "capped" it all off with the season appropriate Panama style hat. The traditional Panama has a wide brim, this particular hat has shorter brim. Which is a much more demure accessory. Wearing a hat dispels the assumption of being fat = lazy. Topping it all off with a hat demonstrates you took the time to think through your appearance and you are confident walking in a society in which The Hat is no longer ubiquitous.

All said, once put together, I felt confident and put together. A cocktail in hand and an after dinner cigar on the patio all made for an excellent evening. I enjoyed the many compliments, it's amazing how many people are impressed by a bow tie especially a self tie bow tie. But I did not dress for anyone else but myself. And that is what matters.

 SO I DON'T LOOK LIKE BRAD PITT....

I am not a thin man. Never was, not sure if I ever will be. There seems to be a general consensus though that if you are not like a model, you must dress like a slob. Untucked shirts, large t shirts, shorts down to the mid shin, generally unkempt. Why? Who says proper attire is only for the thin? Why have overweight men taken on an appearance that says, "I give up"?

I love to pay attention to the details of dressing like a classic gentleman. The proper shoe shine, the pocket square, the tie bar, the proper knot of a tie. All of the accoutrement that completes a suit, it's what captures the eye and communicates to others that you are serious and put together.

How serious would the Axis powers have taken Winston Churchill had he showed up looking more like Bruce Vilanch?

In teaching my son how to dress and groom himself I always start off by saying "A proper Gentlemen...knows how comb his hair, tuck his shirt in, always is sure to have fresh breath..." It seems to me that many men of the portly variety have given up on their appearance and it needn't be so. There are plenty of fine clothes made for plus size man. But really one must start on the inside. How seriously do you take yourself? Do you want others to take you seriously at first glance?

You don't have to be a wealthy business man to worry about your appearance. You just have to take a bit o' pride in yourself, enough so that you extend that to your appearance. A proper shave, a haircut, an ironed shirt and creased pant. It all goes a long way.

So I will dedicate this blog from time to time writing about and demonstrating aspects of style for the more corpulent gentlemen. Not just in what to wear but other aspects, such as etiquette, learning new skills, taking time to do the things that add value to living. I welcome comments and suggestions.