Impressive Trash

So I was sitting in my truck the other day frustrated at how messy it was. Granted much of the disaster was due to weekend beach trips with the family. Kids = Messy Vehicle Interiors (or entire households for that matter)

I sat in the cab and took a look around before starting the process of cleaning it out. Taking away toys, flip flop (yes just one, lord only knows where the other is), Crocs, sweaters, and socks, I was quite impressed with what remained. Yes, I was impressed with the trash that was in my truck.

How can one be impressed with trash? Well any number of ways really, but no need to dive into the nuances and forays of the scavenger lifestyle or with how Doc Brown can use trash to fuel a time machine. I digress.

What impressed me was the containers that I was throwing out and how they compare to what I used to collect along the miles of driving I do. I used to collect wrappers and sacks from McDonald's, BK, Carl's Jr., or any other fast fat food joint that tickled my fancy. I used to collect empty soda cups and cans (no beer, I t'aint that stoopid) MikyWay and Almond Joy Wrappers. The side pockets of my doors would often house the once savory filled pouches of Doritos, Cheetos, and even the nectar/snack of the gods: Salt And Vinegar Kettle Chips. Oh and I can't forget the occasional indulgence of Twinkies...yes Twinkies. Come, on, you know you like 'em. Admit it, that even though they have a shelf life that only cockroaches can admire, they are quite tasty. Try them chocolate dipped at Rocky Mt. Chocolate Factory. WOW! Again I digress, THIS is how I get with food.

So instead of digging out that grease soaked/stained emptied bag of french fries from under the seat I find myself digging the wrapper of a protein bar. I had an empty container of Almonds and another of Grapes. I found a few empty water bottles too and the "once in a while" can of Carb Free Monster Energy Drink (please no lecture on the health dangers of energy drinks). I even had an empty can of Pepsi One! Imagine, diet soda ingested by yours truly. My my...indeed.

Now I don't want to give the impression that my truck's cab serves as an alternate filming location for Oscar The Grouch vignettes on Sesame Street. It truly is rarely a mess. But on this one occasion after a crazy week, this is what I found.

Impressive trash. This is what goes on in my mind. Others think of cures for disease, I contemplate the intricacies of my gastro-consumption.

This Is A Wonderfully Inspiring Scene

Ramble On

So I have not updated my blog in quite some time. I have not been too inspired and don't know exactly why that is. But I will ramble on a bit tonight and see what comes out so bear with me.

I ended phase I of the HMR plan and lost 30 lbs ending at 216 lbs for the program. I started the year at 260 and currently weigh in at 212. And that is where the rub comes in. I have been stuck and idle in my weight loss for the last 90 days. Got to 209 at one point. My hope was to be at 170 by this time and so I am disappointed.

Disappointed....funny because I have had a successful bout the last six months. To have dropped nearly 50 lbs in 6 months is no laughing matter much less a disappointing one. I have not let off on the exercise either. I led and taught a couch to 5k class and ran a 5k on the 4th of July. The one Y member that stayed with the class had never run a 5k and we did it in 35 minutes, no breaks. It was an awesome feat!

And yet I am disappointed that I have not lost more weight. With all the exercise I am doing and all the physical accomplishments I am reaching. I am riding faster and longer distances at elevated speeds. Hills are less of an issue for me. I am lifting more and dancing (ZUMBA) better. Admittedly I am not eating as well as I was. Incorporating outside food and weaning off the prescribed food is difficult as far as discipline goes. But good news is that I am craving fruits and veggies like never before and, up until last Friday, have not had a hamburger since the start of the year. And it was a glorious burger from the Crow Bar in Corona Del Mar...but I digress.

Exciting news! I taught my first spin class this past Monday and I stacked the class with friends so it was totally full whereas it is usually only 3-4 members. Having taken up cycling and improving in my abilities on the bike, I have come to enjoy spinning as well. So much so that I am going to be seeking certification as a Spinning Instructor. I mentioned this to our program director at the Y and then was asked to sub for a teacher on vacation. That's the catch in volunteering with a non profit, as soon as you say what you are interested in, BOOM! There you are. But I had been researching how to plan a class and what to do for quite some time. I thought I would be a bit different than the other instructors in that I would incorporate more Classical music and less hip hop. I would also invite the class to be somewhat introspective on their journey in that hour.

I have found myself to get quite introspective in the midst of a  ride or run, forgetting all but the task at hand. By the end I find myself much more relaxed and exuberant by the accomplishment of the hour. This is called endorphin release. I call it a happy high.

So as I was leading Spinning I noticed something very very foreign to me. Everything I did, the class did. If I dropped my right arm, they did also. I stood, they stood...they even did what I told them to. THAT is weird to experience. Then I realized, the members here and the members in my running class are there to be guided to a healthier version of themselves and are trusting me to get them there for at least that hour. In that hour I am part of a grander plan that they are implementing in their lives. This is quite humbling...and inspiring.

At the same time, I am there to draw from them because I am in need of the workout. I mean, come on! A fat spin instructor? Really? And draw I did. I left so energized, so jazzed at the fruition of what I had been planning and dreaming about. I did it! I actually tried something almost entirely foreign to me, with no formal training and did a good job. If I may be so bold as to say so. I mean I led a work out that I would have been happy to participate in.

It hit me today as I was looking foolish in Zumba class that I am a fitness instructor. I am a fitness instructor. I.......AM............A...........FITNESS...........INSTRUCTOR. That is weird. I never would have guessed a year ago that I would be here now. What a difference a year can make. Holy cow.

I have always said that there is NOTHING I can't do. I may not be the best but I will try it. I have trained horses, ridden bulls, attempted a 100 mile bike ride, ran a half marathon, ran a 5k, lost weight. I can do anything I want and I will.

Life is an adventure, a big one at that. There is so much to try and do. I believe that many won't try something unless they can be the best at it or at least on par with how the pros may do it. In living that way, those people will miss out on so much. I am not satisfied in sitting in the stands and watching the game be played. I want to participate in life and try all I can. Right now it is all about the physical. I want to participate in a triathlon, I want to ride 100 miles, I want to teach others to do the same and join me for the ride.



I have met so many people and created relationships in the journey of this last 6 months that I will remember always and cherish always. Relationships that have inspired me and moved me. Some have moved me to tears. The interaction with them has taught me so much about myself and led me to discover so much wisdom that I would not otherwise had learned. I am proud.

It's okay to be proud, just not prideful. But then I suppose there is an element of pride-fullness bordering on boasting in writing this blog. Or any blog for that matter. Okay fine. But believe this blog is more for me than for you. It is a good outlet to write out what comes into my heart, into my soul. I guess I could just journal it and keep it to myself. But I have a drive in me to inspire others to push themselves. I don't know why, I just do.

I am going to work on a Hall of Fame post. I think I will gather the pictures of all the people in my life currently and in the past that have inspired me to more and honor them. That will take some effort.

So there you have my ramblings. I hope it was not a waste of your time. Thanks for reading!

Hovering

So a few weeks ago I finally broke my previous lowest weight of 215. Then I came back to it. Then I lost it and got to 212. Then, as of this week am back to 215.

You can see the chart here:

I am frustrated. Psychologically I need to get beyond 215 and not by a few pounds but by a large enough margin that a slight gain won't get me back to it. It is a wall, it was the wall last time I trekked on weight loss. It seems insurmountable and very discouraging. Even though, looking at the graph it is easy to see the victory already accomplished. Now it is a mental game, I know that somehow I am sabotaging myself. Or my body is and I am not aware of it.

Discipline, I hope this will help me beat this wall. I stand at this wall, in it's shadow and as Ivan Drago in Rocky IV I say "I must break you." Or is it the wall telling me "I must break you?" Hmm...that is worthy of some reflection. After all I far more identify with the Rocky character.(Let alone desire the same physique, but that is not realistic) It is not going to be easy. It will take perhaps more effort than before. I say this because I recently completed Phase I of my program and am now on to Phase II in which I can eat more fruits and vegetables, not just program regimen. Perhaps that is the factor. I am eating more though it is more of the right stuff. Except, perhaps, for the Tri Tip I had on Mother's day. Ahh, but this is not confession time. Not yet, guilt has not overcome me yet. Perhaps later...later later.

So I reach deep with in and find the warrior needed to fight my natural tendencies to be lazy and over eat and snack. I must remind myself of how I got this far and why I did. I must fight.

It is a lonely trek however and I think that has gotten to me.Sure I blog about it and am transparent about the journey. Admitedly in an effort to not only inspire and to vent but to feel like others are walking with me. Yet the loneliness is there. No one can walk my walk. No one has the inner demons that I have, the same attraction to food that I have. Nor the reasons that I have. No one feels the pain with every pounce on the pavement that I feel or the thoughts that I have to keep picking up my feet to move. It is a lonely path.

I am the only one in the ring with the wall. At times the loneliness is empowering in that I impress myself with I can drive myself to do and what I can accomplish. That alone is empowering, to witness my own resolve and see its fruit. Setting out to ride 30 miles on the bike with no one else...nothing more than my Ipod and my own thoughts.

But then I am overcome. This is not easy, have I said that already? I wish someone else could carry this load for me sometimes. But no one can. I did this to myself. I am the one that aged my body and damaged it. It is my mess to clean up. And what a mess it is.

Crabs In A Bucket...

I read a story once and it went like this:

One day I was walking along the Washington Beach, the black beach in Washington, North Carolina with my father. I was about eight years old. I noticed a man with a bucket of crabs. The crab bucket did not have a top on it. I asked my father why the crabs were not able to escape. My father’s explanation taught me a valuable lesson.

My father said, “If there was only one crab in the bucket it would certainly escape. However, when there is more than one crab in the bucket, if one tries to crawl out, the other crabs would grab hold and pull it back down so that it would share the same fate as the rest of them.”

One thing I have heard a lot of in my weight loss class is others' experience with lack of support from certain friends. This story came to mind and I shared it. We all could relate. It is amazing to me how some folks are apathetic or worse when it comes to another's success. Even more so in the arena of weight loss and exercise.

Success is hinged on encouragement. Encouragement is hinged on selflessness. Sure another's success in an area that is a struggle for you is only a mirror whose reflection you do not like.

I encouraged my fellow participants to gravitate to those that are encouraging them and try to encourage those who are not. They probably don't want to hear it, but remember encouragment is hinged on selflessness. That's my wisdom, I did not get it from anywhere else but my own experience.

It is also important to "set to the plow" and not look behind, or your path will not be true. I am going somewhere, I hope to not go alone, but will if necessary.

Milestone Accomplished....Mission Still Pending

I weighed in today at 213.6 lbs. The lowest I have weighed in nearly 10 years. That is a total of 41.4 lbs since January 1.

After my meeting, which is the 2nd to last meeting of Phase I, my measurements were taken at the gym. Here is the update:

Prior:                           Today:
Chest: 46.5....44 1/2 Waist: 48.5....43 1/2 Thigh: 21.5...22 (this is cool, BTW) Calf:16.... 15 1/4 Arm: 12.75.....13 (this is cool, BTW) Body Fat: 34.6....31.1%
BMI: 32.9.........32.4%


Considering that I gained 1.2 lbs over the course of 2 weeks then lost 3.8 and improved the measurements, I am very happy.

NEW STATS ARE IN!

So here are the latest stats on my body reconfiguration.

Waist: 43.5 --  Down 2 inches exactly
Thigh: 21   --  Down 2 inches exactly
Calf:   15.25 -- Down 1/2 inch
Arm: 13    -- No change, but this number should be going up slightly as a transform my arm fat to muscle.

And the most exciting part...........
Body Fat %: 30.7 down from 33.3!!
BMI:  32.9 down from 34.4!! Almost out of the 30's. Any BMI over 30 is considered obese. It will be nice to not be obese, by this chart anyway.

Even when the scale is not my friend, I rely on these numbers to keep me positive.