Thoughts from the Saddle

Every now and then I will post "Thoughts from the Saddle" which are random thoughts or streams of thought that come to me while on a bike ride. The seat of a bike is called a saddle. I wish it was a horse, it has been too long since I have ridden a horse.

I went for ride yesterday, 15 miles. On the Santa Ana River Trail. On Saturday mornings the trail is chock full of walking and running clubs. Not the best choice of time for cyclists. One of those walkers cut right in front of me and not quickly mind you. No a pathetic little shuffle across the trail with a cartoonish little giggle, I am sure because she knew she made a poor choice.

Word to the less wise: Do not shuffle, scuttle, tip toe, meander, walk, lollygag, waltz, wander, skip...you get the idea. Do not do any of the above RIGHT in front of a FAT MAN riding 12 MPH (that's not that fast as far as cycling goes, but it is fast for me) on a fast bicycle. Especially since he is "clipped" in to those pedals. Why? See the following:
THE DEFINITION OF MOMENTUM:
1) noun, physics the product of a body's mass and its velocity.
2) noun, the impetus of a body resulting from its motion
3) noun, driving power or strength
This body's mass is is massive. Therefore, think twice and look thrice before crossing paths with such a cyclist as me.

On a better note. I rode by one running/jogging club. At the very tail end of the group was a guy who was easily 300lbs. just plodding along. Sweaty and obviously fatigued, he kept picking those feet up, one after the other. I rode by him and as I passed him, I gave him a thumbs up and fist pump.

"Good for him!" I thought. I was right there with him. I WAS there 2 years ago as I trained to run a 5k and subsequent half marathon.

Big guys like me have a lot of perseverence. So the rest of my ride was spent thinking about the source of my perseverance...the source in me that can push through pain and ride 63 miles on a bike with a TINY TINY seat (well maybe not so tiny, but compared to this fat a**...well you know).

So I am working on articulating that thought. Tune in later.

Man writes how 'Rocky' made him fit – yo! | running, Rocky II, fitness, workout inspiration, weight loss - Life - OCRegister.com

This is from 2 years ago. What a diffence 2 years makes:
Man writes how 'Rocky' made him fit – yo! |OCRegister.com

Some People Just Don't Get It

The following is a list of clueless phrases that come from thin people to fat people who are struggling to lose weight.

1. Don't diet, diets don't work, just lead a healthy lifestyle.
2. Drink more water
3. Drink less Soda
4. Eat less, that is all!
5. Make better food choices.
6. Have chicken less meat.
7. Have no meat! Go vegetarian.
8. Just walk more. That is not hard!
9. You don't need to eat sweets, have fruit!
10. Have more vegetables!
11. Just have soup before you eat.
12. I am here to support you (which translates to "I am going to give ongoing commentary on how your chosen method to lose weight is really a bad choice")

They mean well. But they just don't get it. They have never had a relationship with food like a fat person has. heck some couldn't even get fat if they wanted to, yet they feel they know the keys to the "thin kingdom." To these people, being thin makes them experts to comment on the habits of fat people.

There are myriad reasons for being fat. Physioligically, psychologically, physically, etc. Countless are the studies on the reasons behind obesity. Just watch TV news between December 15th and January 15th. You will hear and see all kinds of studies.

My favorite is the "It's not about diet, it's about lifestyle" Oh REALLY? Wow, I did not know that. So now not only am I fat, I am stupid too! Gee golly, thanks. Or how about "Get a side salad instead of fries!" Really, it's just THAT simple. WOWEE!! And you haven't marketed that idea, genius? What are you waiting on, you will make a million selling copies of your books, go on Oprah with this secret and all of America will be saved!

Well intetioned as the skinnies may be, their comments are often callous and thoughtless. Just phrases they picked up from reading the magazines at the check out stand while they were buying their stalks of celery and Healthy choice Ice Cream.

The point is. I have made a choice. Chosen a plan. And that's it. You want to give you're two cents? Keep the change, go buy a Twinkie. You want to support, then do so. But do not think it gives you license to destroy the morale in the room just because you read something in Redbook last month after you finished reading the latest "positions to make him go wild TONIGHT!"

Angry? Why, yes. Fattness, in all it's glory is because of addiciton. It is deeply seated and not easy to conquer. It often takes extreme measures. It is a long road to unpave. And quick fix pithy comments are no solution nor help in the effort. It is a WAR. Fought every minute of every day of every week of every month of every year. And as in any war, granola type hippies are of little help.

To quote Wyatt Earp in "Tombstone:"
      Damnit Ike, either get in the fight or get out of the way!

So you want to help that fat friend of yours who is trying an unconventional way to lose weight. Pick up your gun and strap yourself to his/her back and fight off the Skinny Hippies who come at you. All they will do is hold you back.

Why "The Long Kiss Goodbye?"

I love food. I love cooking it, serving it, eating it. I love the smells, the flavor, the experience of food. It is an orgiastic feast of the senses that gives me great pleasure. I have loved food so long that I can say with certainty that it was my first lover.

As with any lover, she gives and she takes. But what she gives so often outweighs what she takes. She is the mistress of my life but not one that I keep a secret. No no. It is no secret that she is my lover. The whole world knows of our sordid, decades long romance. She is a temptress and a seductress who is found at every corner seeking to devour me...seeking for me to devour her. To drink in her delicasy is to experience love for the very first time, every time.

At every corner she is there seeking me. On every channel of the TV and Radio she is calling me to her. Seduced by her very appearance I begin to fantasize of her aromas, her depth of flavors, the warm filling sensation of partaking. She is the lover of my life, the one that has always been there. From her most simplistic forms to the elaborate feast, I seek her exquistiness at every turn.

She is the reason I go to parties, the reason I spend the cash in my pocket. She is the one that too often soothes an aching soul. She invites me to enjoy her and like a love struck schoolboy succumb to her beck and call. She is the first thought of my day and the last.

But alas, I am jilting my lover. I am leaving her for she has devoured me to the point of death. She has taken more than she has ever given. She has given, oh yes. But at what price has this seductress taken me? Is being a part of my children's life the price I must pay to love you? To have you love me? Do you love me? Or have I let myself be fooled, distracted by your overwheling control of all my senses.

I recall one day. My family was gone for the eveining. All day I plotted my evening alone. I would leave work and head straight to the store  and purchase the most beautifully marbd steak at the counter. Thick, juicy, full of promise. Indeed for I have spent the day researching different ways to prepare it. Looking for the one method that would surely give me the most pleasure in preparation and in eating. Next I would seek out the perfect accompaniment. Salad? Asparagus? Potato....ah yess a nice large Russet potato. The biggest one on the block. But food was not enough, next would be the perfect drink.  A nice cabernet. Then I would drive home listening to the most elegant of music preparing myself for the dance that would start upon arrival. First the seasoning, only the finest combination will do. For I want the complexity of the experience upon the first bite. With song playing and the pour of the wine, we start the dance. Giving way to the sweet aromas from the grill and stove. Ahh yess. I am loving this and I feel loved. I am feasting even now while the food is cooking. All culminating at a finely set table.

I am alone but I am not alone.  am with my lover the one who has been there my whole life and oh she has not let me down tonight. What a feast! What a celebration of the senses!

So long lover. You are mine no more. You have destroyed me, consumed me to the point of destruction. I will leave you. I would thank you for the memories but looking back now, you were killing me bite by bite, smell by smell, drink by drink. You sought control of me and I let you have it for the promises you made. But you always broke those promises. Wretched lover!

Surely I will be victorious. I will not be controlled by you any longer. You are mine now. But I am not yours. You will come only when I call, when I need you. You may try to lure me back; but, I am done with you. You are small to me now. Insignificant. Be damned lover! I am a new man now.

A new man now.

My Purpose For This Here Thing

So I have been inspired to start a blog. This is my first time doing such a thing. So forgive me for not being to smooth with it.

So why? Well, on February 3rd I will be starting with a medically supervised weight loss program through my medical group. It is designed for rapid weight loss especially for someone like me that is a Type 2 diabetic.

I have no idea what to expect but I know that I am ready to do it. I am ready to lose the weight that I have carried all my life. The next 3 months will be hard and inspiring at the same time. It will be hard, oh yes! In essence I am entering a 90 detox to lose 40 plus pounds. The ultimate goal is to lose 80 and be below 170. Thaaat's right. I am, well was 255. I say"was" because when I first met with the Endocrinologist that supervises the program I weighed 255. Three weeks later I am 245. In part due to the new medicine I am on. Weight loss is a side effect. (gee bummer)

So I want to catalog my experience. I hope it would inspire others, thin or fat. I also want my children to some day read about their dad's struggle. I fear they may have the same challenges one day. I pray not.

I am no superhero. There are chinks in my armor and i feel the transparency that comes with documenting this journey on a blog will provide a certain level of accountability. I hope I am right.

I also am writing it to give myself a vehicle for venting and celebrating. A place to rant and rave can be very cathartic and therapeutic.

So this will be a journal of a fat man. A simple fat man who wants to improve his quality of life and that improvement is directly tied to my waistline. I hope you find inspiration in my trials and successes. This may be narcissistic, but so what? If you think so, then don't read it!

I spent some time this afternoon handwriting out my first rant and rave. I will be posting it soon.

Thanks for reading, I hope you stay for the journey.